Hay, I mean, Hey, I'm working on it.......

Probably my great grandfather and great uncle?
Haying, Dallas Plantation, Maine (near Rangeley)
Probably 1930's

Every once in a while, I will be composing a post, and hit some key that deletes everything.  I have no idea what I do, but I think it may be related to the heel of my palm brushing my laptop touch pad as I type.
Usually, what I have lost is fresh enough in my mind, or unedited enough to warrant re-writing, and while it is exasperating, I get over it and re-write.
It just happened again, and I lost a story I'm not up to re-doing at the moment.
I've been writing down my thoughts most of the day, and finally decided that I would do a blog post.
And then it vanished.  I bet there is a way to recover these things, but I just can't figure it out.
I have often thought that I should compose my posts in a Word document first, but I think I then found cumbersome to get photos in the right places.
Anyway, besides some reminiscing I was doing, I was simply going to post that I am working on some posts.  I still am; I think that some of what I have been writing today will appear in this space in future, just needs a little more work for blog-readiness.
I will say, however, that I have seen many blogs whose authors primarily write about hobby/crafty activities, and apologize when they are pre-occupied with life's challenges, and "fail" to post regularly.  Or even, apologize for making reference to their personal concerns, which may be "unhappy" topics.  "I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, but....."
I happen to feel that we, none of us bloggers, have an obligation to our visitors.  Like any other medium, people can take or leave what we have to say.  Not that I don't work at expressing mutually gratifying content, but I usually don't shy away from being direct about what is on my mind.  For one thing, I use this blog, not so much as a personal journal, but at least as a general chronicle, suitable for sharing.  I think there is value in what I have to say. After all, if I didn't, why bother?  I trust that the occasional visitor will find value too, since I find value in the simplest of blog posts.  Want to discuss the merits of how you store your coffee filters?  I'll listen.  Rant about the frustration of getting your vacuum cleaner fixed.  I'm all ears.  Puzzle over why you couldn't make sense of a sewing pattern instruction.  I'm captivated.  Maybe I find comfort in our commonality.  Likewise, if you are struggling with bigger issues like being sick or out of work or worrying over something, I never feel disappointed when reading about it on your quilting blog.  Maybe I'm just nosy.
So.........
Thank you to you if you came to visit and read my last post, and had the time and words to leave a sympathetic comment.  If you read it and didn't know what to say, that's okay too.  I know it doesn't mean you were indifferent.  If you were disappointed not to find pretty little baby clothes or something like that, I know it was only temporary, and you wandered off and got your "fix" somewhere else.  I hope you came back and here's why.
Sooner or Later.  Mama always said there'd be times like this.  Unless you die young, or don't love anybody, you will face the fear and worry of having someone you love be sick, or possibly even die.  And while blog-surfing may be "merely" an escapist activity for you, I believe our blogs can serve an even better purpose.  Escapism is a perfectly good coping strategy, to an extent, but it is limited.  Their can be real power, however, in knowledge.  If the information you consider is truly wisdom, and you apply it to your life, you have broadened your options for coping.  Many peoples' experiences garner them wisdom, and those who can benefit from the experiences and wisdom of others will avoid needless suffering.  No amount of wisdom can insure against suffering, but facing tragedy with limited coping resources causes suffering that is truly needless.
So, I will be sharing a bit about the challenges my loved ones are facing, but I think the focus will really be on what it is like to be a relatively healthy Bedside Sitter, wanting desperately to make things better, but feeling powerless.  Being in the immediate support network of someone who is sick can be vulnerable and lonely, but it can also be fulfilling and empowering.  If you're up to it, read my posts.  If you're not, they'll be archived for later.  And I'm not done stitching and homemaking and laughing and enjoying life.  I'll share that stuff too.

Sad.

Waiting to see what the next tide will bring......

I will be taking a hiatus from blogging.  I already have been gone longer than I planned.  I have things going which keep me from making pretty things, and are more important than taking pretty pictures.
You see, my stepfather was diagnosed with leukemia in March, and I have been helping a little.  And now my brother has been diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma.  It's a bit overwhelming.  I'm going up to Stratton in a couple of hours to hug my mother and brother and stepfather and sister-in-law and niece.  We'll talk, we'll catch up, we'll eat together, we'll pause and sigh.  Maybe we'll cry a little, but we'll probably tease and laugh and tell stories.  Some of us will pray.  I hope some of us will pray together.  I hope we'll sing hymns together to help us remember God's grace and truth.  We'll probably phone various other people.  And make plans.  And wonder what the future holds.  And maybe I'll blog some of it, but I probably won't for a while anyway.
I will wonder what you all are blogging about.  I'll check in on ThimbleAnna who is also caring for loved ones who are ailing.  So,  I'll be back when it feels right.

An up hill climb.

Easter Greetings

Wishing you all a happy and glorious Easter!  May you be surrounded by those you love and may you rejoice in the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ!

I have recently attempted to put myself on a blogging schedule of sorts.  I thought I'd try to blog on Mon, Weds, Fri of each week, but not to beat myself up if a day came and I had no ideas or pics/text ready to go.  So, if you'll look back, you'll see that I missed Monday of this week and the preceding Friday.  Then a bunch of things came together for Wednesday.

And now, a new leaf I'm turning over is that I am trying to commit myself to realistic scheduling, anticipating when I can and when I can't expect to be a regular blogger.  I have always admired those bloggers who courteously notify their readers when they are taking a break.  I have habitually just vanished without any hint of why, and I'm sorry about that.  So today, I am announcing that I don't expect to blog next week at all.  I will have a houseful starting later today for the Easter weekend.  My youngest son Sean (who is 17 and a jr in high school), will be on Easter vacation next week, and wants to go visiting colleges.  So, with any level of organization and coordination, I will be back on Monday, April 28th.  Let's see how I do!  (But I will still no doubt, be visiting your blogs and leaving comments; I love seeing what you-all are up to.)

Really Random

1.  No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth.  Being consistent just is not my forte.  I have reminded myself repeatedly that in my case, blogging is about keeping an online journal, and so its purpose is to serve my need to express myself.  If I were primarily trying to write for a specific audience, it would become a stress-inducer, not a stress-reliever.  This is how I try to assuage my guilt.
2.  I hate Facebook.  (Is hate too strong?)  Off and on, I have tried giving it a whirl.  I have learned a few things.  It's easier to like people when you don't know everything that they are thinking and feeling.  I don't need to know 99.9% of what is posted.  And at least 50% of it distresses me, and most of the remaining 50% barely interests me.
3.  I don't know how to tweet.  And so far, I don't feel the need to learn.
4.  Pinning is another matter.  I do have a Pinterest account, and a few boards.  I haven't been nearly as drawn to it as some are.  
5.  So far, these items aren't really random.  They all have to do with social media.
6.  My son stopped at a Yard Sale on his way to the beach with his sweet girlfriend.  Being on the way to the beach, he had no wallet, but discovered something he wanted, so he called me, knowing I'd be interested in the vintage items being cleaned out of an old house.  I was, and besides picking up the dishes his girlfriend told him he needed for his apartment, I found a few other things.  I should take some pics to post.  I brought home 6 matching coffee mugs, a heavy aluminum roaster (that looked like 1960's maybe?), an aluminum straining basket that will fit in my vintage 4 qt. pressure cookers, a few books and an old magazine.  But really the best part was talking about biscuit recipes with the 2 ladies running the sale, and another shopper.  I guess you had to be there.
7.  I've been reorganizing our home filing system.  Reorganizing is a generous term.  We had a shameful number of piles of "important" papers which had never been put into the proper folders.  We had also been suffering with the hassle of searching these haphazard piles (randomly located throughout the house) whenever we needed some pertinent document.  This has been a very gratifying purging experience.  I have sent huge amounts of paper off to be recycled, and made another collection of papers with sensitive info for shredding.  When I lamented to DH about how long it would take to sit at the shredder, he went out and bought a fire pit at Home Depot.  So I got marshmallows, Hershey bars and graham crackers, and we had a little toasting party on Saturday night, while watching for meteors.
8.  We're doing a homemade pizza week.  We did it before several weeks ago, and it was hugely popular.  I was making sourdough starter, and on the King Arthur Flour website, there are recipes for using the daily "discard" starter as you feed it.  So, besides buttermilk sourdough waffles, I was making sourdough pizza crust each day (which you can freeze for future use if you don't use it).  The toppings and salad would change each day.  So one day, it was Hawaiian pizza, another day Greek, another day Meat Lovers or Mexican.  I found this to be a very economical and nutritious way to feed the locusts, uh, family.  (What would you do if your DH was 6'4", and your 3 boys were aged 16-21, all about 6'3" tall, and working hard at very physical jobs each day?  Adding to their appetites, the two older boys play softball in the evenings, one of them surfs every chance he gets, and the youngest is training at the gym or running pretty much daily, anticipating the upcoming football season.)
9.  Re: above:  I do the menu planning and grocery shopping and most of the cooking, but I don't haul in the groceries, take out trash, carry firewood, or my own luggage, and while I do most of the laundry, I don't carry down large hampers of dirty laundry.  Oh, and I don't shovel much snow -- only if I feel like it, for a little exercise and fresh air.  I love having "men around the house.
10.  I read somewhere that eating beans 3-4x/wk decreases your risk of heart disease by something like 37%.  I have multiple risk factors, so I've been seeking more recipes with beans, and acclimating the eaters in the house.  I have had some real success with cooking lentils with beef broth, onion powder and a little cayenne pepper, and mixing them in with ground beef in various casserole-type recipes, like Shepherd's pie, taco meat, etc.  I will try in meatloaf, and maybe even some burgers soon.
11.  I haven't sewed a thing, but the itch is getting stronger.  I want to make a whole new wardrobe!
12.  I love heirloom sewing (see Jeannie Baumeister's blog, The Old Fashioned Baby), and I want to try smocking.  I think that means I'm gearing up for grandbabies.  Kind of the way a young couple gets a puppy or kitten when they are getting mentally prepared to start having babies.  (Tho' most don't recognize that it is a common pattern they are following..
13.  There's a lot to do to get the 2 older boys off to college in about 10 days.  I hate it when they go.  I feel like I've had an amputation.  I can tell I'll be having a horrendous case of ENS (Empty Nest Syndrome) in 2 years when the last one goes. 

Anyway, that's just a little bit of what is rattling around in my head these days........

Saturday

I'm always thinking about something. And sometimes I'm thinking that what I'm thinking might be the beginning of a good blog post.

When I finally sit my tired self down in the evening, I find the thought of trying to type out my thoughts, coaxing them into eloquent expression too daunting. And yet, all day long, they are bubbling, roiling, persistent in their desire to be developed from embryonic ideas into formed essays, like an op-ed piece Because to me, even the most trivial thought is like a tiny piece of an infinite jigsaw puzzle, unique to me, and representing who I am and how I interpret the mysteries of our world and our place in it. So, I'm going to try something a little different to try and capture the cool fresh running water of brilliance bubbling up from the fount of my brain in clay pots, discrete aliquots of moist refreshment delivered into the parched void of my blog.

Such as it is......

This was going to be a hit-and-run post about taking my son to college. The topic itself is too big for me to wrap my brain around -- waaaay too painful, and so I was just going to skim the subject. My chosen focus was going to be a quilt. I have an ongoing joke with myself about quilting. How I'm not going to get involved in quilting because it is a black hole unto itself, sucking money, time and NRG that I don't have to spare. Too bad I love the finished products sooooo much. Did you see the quilts on Caroline's blog: Knot Garden? And have you been to Don't Look Now? And those are just 2 of the quilters' blogs that come immediately to mind.

Well, so anyway, I was going to blog just a little about the quilt my mother gave my son for going away to college. Only I ran into a problem after loading just one picture I took on the move-in day. For some reason, my computer opens my Pictures file and then doesn't load what's in all the folders. So I can't select them to upload. And I thought my only obstacle to having more pics for my posts was keeping my camera ready to go and remembering to take pics while the light is good!
And now the one picture I loaded, I promise it was here, has disappeared of its own accord!
I'll work on these technical issues (meaning I'll re-boot my laptop - my panacea for all computer problems), and try again later. And in the meantime, it is a beautiful, bright sunny day, maybe I'll style some pics for future use.

What I did for Columbus Day, or How NOT to Waste a Day Off on Housework...

Last Monday was Columbus Day and I had the day off from work. The kids were home from school. And if you read my last post, you know that the nursery near the office was closing for the season and I had to get over there to get the bargains. Last day.
I wish I were a good housekeeper. If I were, I would have the skill to map out a good day off. I would balance work(household chores) and play(shopping, gardening, crafty stuff, and blogging), and by supper, have a nutritious, delicious home-cooked meal on the table. But unfortunately, I lack the self-discipline to make a day like that happen. At least, I did last Monday. I still aspire to such a day. The next day off is Thanksgiving and that's always mayhem, so my model day-off will have to wait until, oh, I dunno, MLK Day? So, instead of indulging in any more self-loathing because of the dust, the clutter, and the mediocre menu around here, I'll share with you the fruits of the shopping I did last Monday. You've already seen my nursery visit bounty, but what I didn't tell you was I also thrifted at Goodwill, and went to Michael's and A.C. Moore, both of which are nearer to the office than home, so I justified it with the old tried-and-true "Weellll, since I was in the neighborhood....."

I went into Goodwill first. I usually don't find much to interest me in our Goodwill. I visit blogs where I see really great stuff people bring home from their thrifting trips and wonder why my local GW has so little to offer. And sometimes I think maybe I would have passed up the very treasures featured on others' blogs, and only now find them interesting because of the blogger's vision of how they can be restored, or re-purposed or creatively displayed with what they already have (and which I don't). But this time was different... I had spent the weekend crawling through every post in the archives of a blogger new to me, and whose creativity and photographs had me mesmerized. This dear lady is a quilter, and her quilts are so attractive because of the eye she has for mixing colors, choosing just the right mix of hues of the right shade and value. I fell in love with her palette. She also puts a new twist on old-fashioned, like yo-yo patchwork, applique, and her latest, a crochet pillow. She makes me want to crochet little floral vignettes for pincushions. Take a look: Her blog is Knot Garden, click on the link on my blog list, it's post after post of some serious eye candy.

I especially love the way she styles her photos, and inspired me with her button collections displayed in lovely little pin dishes, or sandwich plates, or what have you. In my first picture above, you can see what I found with that inspiration in mind.

In the second photo, I show you what I found among the yarns. There were quite a few more there than the last time. And among the usual synthetics, I found the (vintage?) small skeins of fingering weight Bear Brand wool, some crochet cottons, and two synthetics I could acept. One is the white baby yarn by Sindar, and the other is a current yarn (that I have had trouble finding to finish a pair of socks! More on that later...), Caron Simply Soft Tweed in Med. (or Dark?) Sage. Now the 3rd picture is the loot I brought from Michael's. All those colors of crochet cotton are so I can try making the little crocheted pansy doily edging I've looked at a million times and the daisy insertions, and whatever other colorful little clever flower-y stuff I can find. Oh yeah, and I needed to fill out my choices for lavenders and greens for embroidering (and pinks and yellows too). The last two pictures are just some of my favorite colors in a lighter wt. yarn than I usually use. I really do prefer the wools, alpacas, silks, bamboos, etc., but for now, these synth. yarns are the compromise I make for my budget's sake. I will continue to knit and crochet with these while I get to know which patterns I want to make with an "investment fiber". At least that's what I tell myself.

The last pic is not just because that baby is so cute I can hardly stand it. A few years ago I knit that little jacket. In the yellow just like the picture. And I still haven't sewn it together! I even bought adorable little white ducky buttons for it. So I posted the pic and made this confession to shame myself into moving forward with it... After all, I know of two babies on the way!

Jumping back in

Hi, I'm back! I won't bore you with explanations as to why I dropped off the blogosphere. Suffice it to say that I am not a true blogger. I have no future as as blook-writer or anything else impressive growing out of my musings. I am unreliable as a blogger; I get caught completely caught up in living my busy life.
Which brings us to today -- a Sunday evening. I used to haaaate Sunday evenings. I'd be anxious about the week ahead, and filled with self-loathing for not getting my life into perfect order by Sunday eve. It's less traumatic for me now. My job, while stressful, is far less so than the one I used to have. My children aren't so young anymore, and so, not so dependent on me for every little thing. I also have completely lowered by expectations about what can and cannot and what should and should not be accomplished in a weekend.

Gearing up

I'm working on making a comeback! Life overtook me for a while there. Biggest thing was Ian (my eldest) graduating from high school. I'm not sure I can explain why this been so hard for me (i.e. devastating). I'm still processing what has happened, and what is happening. The going-away-to-college thing. I mean, seriously? One of my favorite people in the whole world is going to move away? And I'm supposed to be celebrating? Uh-uh. Mourning is more like it. Make no mistake, this is a loss. I know that I am crazy, and I'm supposed to be looking forward to the day that my kids leave. Yes, I got the memo. But I can't seem to embrace it. Anyway, welcome to my world...needlecrafts? Well, I had made some progress on the projects that I had been blogging about, but eventually I dropped everything, unfinished and took care of the more demanding things. I have not weathered this period the way I would have liked to, but it is what it is.
I'm getting ready to start posting again more regularly. I just hope I have some interesting things to say, and not just mommy-whining. See you soon.

Call to Prayer & Action

I have been watching in horror, as no doubt you have too, as news reports of death and devastation come to us from Haiti. The lack of emergency response infrastructure in that country will prolong and magnify the suffering. There are still people alive but trapped under collapsed buildings. There are survivors whose bodies are mangled, but no medical care is available. The dead are everywhere with no services available to cremate or inter them. No food, no water, no shelter, no sanitation, no medicines. 5% of the population has HIV/AIDS and the lowest doctor:population in the world. (2 doctors/100K). Bad information circulating. Rumors, lies. Coastal people are flocking inland for fear of an ensuing tsunami.
Humanitarian agencies are in full swing. Lives will be saved, and suffering will be abated, but imagine the fear and desperation in the meantime. Lives will be lost needlessly if those trapped cannot be freed. The sick, the elderly will fall prey to hunger, dehydration, exposure to the elements. It breaks my heart and overwhelms my mind to consider it all.
I have 2 thoughts on all of this: 1) God is bigger than any disaster wrought on this earth. He can and will work all things for good. There is and will be suffering in all of this. But this is a time when we can and will band together to bear Haiti's burdens. I know that Christians are sending up prayers of intercession to God, even as I type. Christians and non-Christians alike will give generously of their resources, time, talents and money, to provide aid and comfort in this time of need in Haiti. I even dare hope that Haiti's capacity to deal with catastrophe will be fortified and improved as a result of the attention brought to this destitute part of the world.
2) See the scripture tag on the right sidebar - this is a scripture I have come to again and again in the last several months. I have alluded to having had a tough year in 2009. I won't go into detail, but one of the most difficult things I have faced is the death of my father, a huge and powerful figure in my life. And that was only part of my "annis horribilis" (to quote QEII). One of the positive outcomes is that I have had so many loving and compassionate people rally around me and my family, who have helped in so many ways. I often reflect on how Christians are exhorted to "bear one another's burdens". This year, I have experienced that in a very real and meaningful way. I have also been given the opportunity to put that command into action. It is one of the most powerful human interactions I have ever experienced. To come alongside someone in their time of need, or to have someone offer you comfort when you are suffering is something beyond words for me. So deeply touching. Tomorrow, maybe I will find the quote from Gandhi how losing yourself in service to others is how you find yourself. A beautiful thought.
Please consider what you may have to offer. Time. Talents. Money. The Red Cross allows you to designate donations for Haiti. Doctors Without Borders (Medecins Sans Frontieres, or MSF) has a presence there, and Stephanie, the Yarn Harlot urges and tracks donations from her following of knitters. Click on that link for her eloquent post.

Giveaway Announcement

I was just visiting Jacque @ Campagne Maison, and linked to Marla @ Always Nesting, who is having a giveaway to celebrate her 100th blog post! I perused around on her blog, and enjoyed her home dec projects. She has just completed a bedroom decorating project, which looks wonderful! She is giving away a $25 TJMaxx giftcard. Perfect for home dec items! Will it inspire your new projects?

If you go over and enter a comment, mention my name and blog. Thanks!

P.S. If you visit Jacque, wish her a happy birthday, or "Bonne Anniversaire"!

Just let me catch my breath!

This is a big day in my blogging experience. Huge. I can't even believe how nervous and excited it has made me.

I've been awarded and tagged!




The Award comes with being "tagged" and the rules are that I must list 7 random things of interest about myself, and then I must award to 7 others whose blogs I esteem. Although, I can't tag Honore @ Bygone Knits, as she is the one who has generously awarded me.


1. I love my Yankee background, but I frequently run across descriptions of Southern hospitality and graces, and think secretly I'd like to be a Southern Lady.

2. I was born on an Air Force base in Normandy. France. I've seen the Eiffel tower and L'Arc de Triomphe and picnicked in the French countryside and I remember none of it. But I have a beautiful French birth certificate printed in gold ink.

3. In the early 1980's, Jay Leno rode his motorcycle up to an inn where I was working for the summer. He was doing stand-up comedy in our tavern and I helped him run the washing machine to wash his best jeans for his performance.

4. One summer when I was a teenager I worked at Disneyland in Anaheim, California. Tomorrowland, actually. The uniforms were hideous. Red and yellow polyester. 'Nuff said?

5. I have a Master's degree in Biochemistry.

6. Almost everyone on my mother's side of my family is very tall. So, I married a man who is almost 6'5". My sons are tall but are not basketball players, they are hockey players. I possess no athletic talent. But wish I did. Or sing, if I had a choice.

7. I have neither desire nor interest in being preserved cryogenically.



Now, about tagging 7 others. This is a bit of a challenge, because while I am so excited to be tagged. (You mean someone actually knows I exist? I've never even written a book!) However, I have noted that some bloggers are not happy about being tagged. Maybe we should have some kind of icon on our blogs that indicates either "Feel free to tag me" or "No tags, please". So, I'm going to stick my neck out and tag blindly, not knowing if my tag-ees will scoff and scowl, or squeal with delight.


1. Mary Grace @ Hooked on Needles

2. Cindy @ My Romantic Home

3. Anna @ Thimbleanna *

4. Lara @ Thornberry


5. Laura @ Decor to Adore

6. Kim @ Daisy Cottage

7. Mary Corbet @ Needle 'n Thread

What fun for me! I hope this encourages you to visit the above blogs. As I was choosing, I discovered that there are more than 7 blogs that I think are beautiful, and the people behind them appealing and interesting. I purposely avoided awarding and tagging people who get hundreds of comments for each post, as I imagine their blogging time to be busy already. Although, I wonder if Lucy will have the time and energy to play, as she is expecting to meet Bump24 very soon indeed!

*This post was changed to take Lucy off the list, as when I went to her blog I saw she had 217 comments on her last post, and I am so worried about tiring her...... I subbed in one of the many other bloggers I admire and follow regularly.. Sorry to be so dorky and not getting things right the first time. I'm all discombobulated in my excited state! Check out Lucy's blog @ Attic24, anyway. Talk about eye candy! There is a link in my blog list in the sidebar on the right.

New Background

Did you notice my new background?

I stumbled across the website of a graphic artist, Karen, who creates beautiful backgrounds and teaches you how to put them on your own site! I have always wondered how people have such beautiful and creative blogs. The secret is that they are either techno-smart, or they know where to turn to for help. So, in my case, I am thrilled to have this enormously talented lady's help. And it's free! She is The Background Fairy. She also has vintage epherema-inspired clip art on her other website Graphic Fairy. I will be sure to credit her whenever I use her images.

Here are some examples:

She has an abundant collection of birds, eggs, and nests, some on greeting cards.

Then there's beautiful Spencerian penmanship, with its fluorishes and scrolls, not just text, but beautiful images, such as the leaping stag above.

And finally, since we are still in the 12 days of Christmas, I feel that it is still timely to include this adorable Christmas-y image. Karen has a huge selection of art depicting children that'll make your heart melt!

Speaking of the Twelve Days of Christmas, check out this website. Laura is on a blogging break, but has filled her absence with clever depictions from the ancient Christmas carol.

Well, now I need to go knit, birthdays coming up fast, you know...

Random thoughts

So, today, I don't have anything specific to post on............but I do have some half-baked thoughts.
The first amorphous cognation (is that a word or a neologism?) circles the purpose of this blog. Since I don't have a real audience, I can't target my audience's needs and interests. My intended audience is family and friends, who naturally are a diverse group, without a particular common interest, like genealogy or fossils or synchronized swimming. In fact, their most prominent characteristic is that they are related to and/or care about me and my family. But.......(did you guess that there was a but coming?)...I'd like to create a blog that mainly considers my very personal interests, which I have detailed in my profile. Home life, home dec, various needle pursuits, and most things old-fashioned or "vintage". But also, perhaps a bit divergently, I have an interest in delving into topics facing Christians (particularly Lutherans) in 21st century America. With regard to artsy/craftsy pursuits, I wish I could blog like Alicia at Posie Gets Cozy or Lucy at Attic24. But it occurs to me that I am not actively, daily pursuing these activities that I love. And such blogging is at least 50% staging, styling, taking and uploading beautiful fotos. Oh, how I wish...... Since I am working at an office M-F and can really only take the kind of pix I want to take on sunny weekend days and I have a lot of work to have a reliable camera at the ready (and know how to use it to best advantage), for the time being my blog won't be all that I want it to be. Now, having said that, I have overcome one obstacle to blogging. I don't need to have amazing fotos in order to sit down and tap out a post. At least, not yet....
Another concept, I always think about to one degree or another is Discipline. How getting closer to a goal involves discipline. How discipline is really a tool, and absolutely indispensable in striving toward any outcome (worthwhile or not, after all, probably even Hitler exercised discipline). Having discipline doesn't make one virtuous, but it does make one effective. I have for years been interested by the idea of mental discipline. And by that, applying discipline to choose what to think about. We all do it every day, some with more success than others. When in the classroom, mental discipline allows us to concentrate on the lesson at hand. If we have mental discipline, we are not at the mercy of fickle Interest. We probably have all experienced only marginally attending to a lecture because that day at that moment, something more commanding has diverted our interest. Sometimes, our emotional life can take hold and occupy our minds, even though we have committed our bodies to be present and participating in school or work or whatever it may be.
I am a born daydreamer. I have always known this to be true. I entered the first grade in 1968, when I was 5 years old. I have a November birthday, and had done very well on school readiness testing, so I was placed in the first grade on a provisional basis, I guess. Apparently, I would be re-evaluated partway through the year, perhaps to repeat first grade, or something. I was more than ready to start school, at least from a learning perspective. I was reading far above my peers, and my teacher assigned to lead (!) a reading group, I went to Mrs. Hastings' class for Math, as she had a higher group or something, and when it was time for spelling tests, I was sent to the library for independent reading. My teacher was Lillian Marks, and to us kids, she was older than dirt. Not meaning to be rude, or disrespectful, but really she was older than my grandmother. Of course, I now realize that my grandmother was 48 at the time, and my great-grandmother was probably 72. Mrs. Marks was probably about 60 or more, as I think she retired soon after teaching my class, I think. In those days, report cards were issued 4 times during the school year, and each report consisted of a narrative paragraph that the teacher probably typed on the report card herself. She always had lovely things to say about me, and for that I am grateful, and no doubt it deepened my teacher crush on her. That is not to say I was her pet. I was far too shy and quiet, and she had her hands completely full with probably about 30 students in the class, and more than her fair share of hooligans. But I was happy, and I admired her, simply for being The Teacher. I have always cherished one thing she said about me on the narrative..."She daydreams a bit, I think." Now, in retrospect, I think she was observing some attention deficit, but it was so kindly put. I wonder what a first grade teacher would do with me today. Would I be identified and evaluated? Would I have repeated 1st grade or not have started until the next year when I was 6-going-on-7? Would I have cultivated the mental discipline not to daydream? Probably not, I haven't yet............
I wish I had my 1st grade foto ready-to-hand to post here, just for fun....

So, where have I been?

I'm going to get back in the blogging saddle. I won't go into detail, but my life took on challenging proportions and I had nothing left for blogging. I didn't follow anyone else's blog either. Well, that's not entirely true. There are 2 blogs that I check for posts pretty much daily. They both represent an escape from my day-to-day cares: Dress a Day and Posie Gets Cozy.
But now I'm coming back, although the things on my mind are less in the domestic arts arena and more along the lines of spiritual considerations.
So, if you're here to read about knitting or embroidery, I'll probably get to something like that in future posts, but today I am going to touch on a more personal topic.
My church belongs to the ELCA, which stands for the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. It is a denomination which departed from the traditional midwestern Lutheran Church a few decades ago. Gradually, the ELCA has been studying various social issues and drafting statements defining the Church's position. Past statements have addressed capital punishment and abortion among other contemporary social considerations. Recently, the ELCA held a Church-Wide-Assembly, gathering delegates from the various synods, taking a vote and adopting a set of resolutions encouraging member churches to: 1) ordain practicing homosexuals into leadership positions; and 2)bless same-sex unions. This has stirred up a great deal of controversy and high emotion. Open discussion has, at times, resulted in hurt feelings. There have been some people who have left our church, because of the conviction that the ELCA has taken a large step down the wrong path.
I too, may leave my church. I'm not sure what to do. I believe the ELCA has taken a very wrong turn. I believe that the Bible is very clear that homosexual activity is a sin. I think that to be a Christian is to take the Bible seriously. I have not yet heard an argument that addresses the truth as it is written in the Bible. Unless you count the woman who said to me: "Yes, that's what it says, but how do you know that is what it means?" (Shades of the Clinton-esque: "That depends on what your definition of "is"is.") Should I have perpetuated the irony by answering: "Because that is what it says."?
I should also add that I do not believe that people are born homosexual, but that they have experiences that encourage their sexual development in that direction.
Further, I believe that the church has a role in speaking the truth in love, and calling the sin what it is. Primarily, however, the church's role is to be loving and accepting of people no matter what their sin is. All people are sinners and as Christians we are works-in-progress. I think it would be unbiblical, un-Christ-like to make homosexuals to feel ashamed or unwelcome. But I also think that the Bible tells us that our church leaders should be virtuous and upright in their behaviors. This presumes that they be people who have studied God's Word and examined their lives to overcome sin in its myriad forms. People living homosexual lifestyles and seeking leadership positions either have not read the Bible or don't think its teachings are relevant. How can they be qualified to lead the rest of us?
So, given these convictions, do I stay with the ELCA? My church seems to be accepting the resolutions. I would be more comfortable if there were at least some discussion of our options in response to the resolutions. But, instead, I feel that we have told by our pastor not to discuss it, for fear of causing hurt feelings. And, then to add to my confusion, last week's sermon was based on the Scripture reading from the 2nd chapter of Genesis, about the creation of woman as a companion to man, presumably the Biblical model for marriage. And yet the focus was on divorce, stating that it was God's plan for marriage to be a life-long union. Pastor fell short of adding the phrase: "between one man and one woman". At the time, the omission didn't bother me too much, although I noticed it. I assumed that he was avoiding adopting a position that might seem too strident on a sensitive subject. But in retrospect, I think by not being clear about his position, he has been exactly that, unclear. I can easily imagine someone thinking that by emphasizing "life-long union" repeatedly, that he was actually endorsing homosexual partnerships as long as they had a "life-long union" clause in their commitment to one another. You know how it is when you hear what you want to hear. It is this kind of fence-sitting that is aggravating people. I have taken a measured approach, thinking that I didn't want to make a quick decision, nor did I want to give too much credence to the initial reactions of others, but now as time goes on and I see that open discussion is not being encouraged, and the official position is one of denial, I am feeling more and more alienated.
I want to belong to a church which believes in and teaches the Bible. Yes, I believe we should love one another, but I don't think it is loving to encourage sin. You see, that is the crux of the matter for me. If the resolutions had enocuraged congregations to be inclusive and loving, I would have agreed whole-heartedly, but elevating to leadership? blessing a sinful union? All s that we can say that we have done what is politically correct? (Was Christ loving when he over-turned the tables of the money-changers? I say YES, because it is loving to shine a light on sin, and call it what it is. What opportunity for repentance is there if we don't define sin where we see it?
I don't expect a whole lot of response to this post - after all who reads my blog anyway, especially when I haven't posted in almost 4 months. But whether you agree or disagree, I hope you'll feel free to leave a comment. If it's impolite, I'll remove it, but I promise that if it's courteous and respectful, I'll leave it.

Blog Giveaway

Check out the Paper Crafting post on Kelli's blog "There's no place like home". It is soooo cute and such a good idea. If you leave a comment you will be entered in her giveaway.
Hmmmm.... there's an idea - a giveaway! Maybe I should do one -- potentially increase readership, definitely increase commentership, (and bring some lurkers out of the woodwork)...but what to offer as a giveaway? How about an adolescent male who never picks up his dirty clothes? No? Oh, come now, where's your sense of adventure?
Good luck with Kelli's giveaway contest...

Praying for Jonah

I was reading Rhoda's blog for decorating tips yesterday, and followed a link to the blog of one of her commenters and I became curious about a badge I saw in her sidebar.....it said "Praying for Jonah". (See sidebar to the right) Funny how a little click can open up a whole new world unfolding nearby or far away of which you are completely unaware. I spent the next few hours reading the "Williams Family Blog", and weeping, and praying.
I'll summarize: Patrice and Matt are young twenty-somethings in NC, probably married a couple of years. Patrice started the blog (about a year ago) about a month before their first baby, a boy named Gabe, was due. And then almost immediately after the blog begins, Gabe died in utero, and had to be delivered stillborn. The doctors were unable to determine any specific cause of death. Patrice faithfully records her and Matt's grief, with pure and honest references to their faith. She shares their sorrow and their joy, and chronicles time with their families, including the handfuls of toddling nieces and nephews they enjoy at every event. In no time, (for the reader anyway), Patrice discovers she is again pregnant, and the long months of anxious waiting begin. All check-ups are reassuring of the new baby's health, but naturally Patrice experiences a great deal of anxiety - like any new mother, but amplified by the raw emotion of Gabe's all-too-recent demise. Finally, the waiting is over, and the doctors induce Patrice's labor at 37 weeks . All goes as planned, and Jonah finally makes his triumphant entrance into the world.....and into the lives of countless hundreds, even thousands in the blog world. Patrice and Matt are immediately faced with the nightmare of health problems for their little one, as it is obvious that Jonah has a serious skin condition, he has blisters, and in some areas, his skin has sloughed off. He was only just born this 2/27/09, and spent the first 5 weeks in NICU at a children's hospital. His diagnosis is EB (Epidermolysis Bullosa), which is a connective tissue disorder which causes the skin layers to be inadequately adhered to one another, rendering the skin impossibly delicate. It also affects the GI tract, creating blisters in the mouth and throat just by the normal sucking forces of natural breast or bottle feeding. The fragility of the skin and oral mucosa represents a breach in the body's natural barrier against infection, these babies are constantly at risk.....I'm not sure what Jonah's prognosis is, but it's clear that the degree of severity in these cases varies widely, and apparently Jonah's case is on the more severe end of the spectrum. Jonah has rallied like a champ, and Patrice and Matt have their hands full, learning how to bathe, feed, and handle him. He truly requires "kid" gloves, and cannot be firmly snuggled, swaddled, or even conventionally diapered.
Reading about their battle is wrenching and exhausting, but compelling. There are people all over the world on their knees, praying for this little guy and their young parents. How can I help it, I am now one of them.....but I am so aware of my own limitations, even as I pray for Jonah, I am aware of how much more motivated I am because of the blog, with pictures and detailed descriptions. If somebody had said to me, "Oh, by the way, pray for a baby with a serious disease", I would likely pray once and barely remember it the next day. But to have become invested emotionally in the life of a stranger, I have required Patrice's skillful blogging, plenty of baby pics, and the eloquent blog posts of others, and the community feeling of a "movement". In the back of my mind, I know there are thousands of babies in children's hospitals, NICUs, and even at home, facing similar challenges, some harder, some easier, all of whom merit our love and prayer...it makes me glad there is a God, because he does keep track of them all, cares about all of them, and is not limited by our human worries, fatigue, lack of imagination, selfishness. Which brings me to why I'm writing. Jonah may be just one baby in thousands who need our prayers, but he's the one I "know". I think it is good for me to weep and pray and wait. Isn't that what Jesus asked the disciples to do in the garden of Gethsemane? And aren't I just like any one of them, sleeping on the job? And aren't I like Peter, denying him three times, before the cock crew?
You see, I started this blog timidly, keeping it light and superficial....yes, domestic cares and considerations are important to me, but I have not share the reason why---I have kept my proverbial light under a proverbial bushel! I am a Christian, a child of the one true and living God, and my very existence should proclaim his Sovereignty, over my life, my family, my household, and that includes what I post in my blog. I belong to the ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church of America), specifically Holy Cross Lutheran Church in Kennebunk, Maine. I intend to blog more about that in the future, and include more topics on service projects within the church. In the meantime, give up some knee-time for Patrice and Matt and Jonah, if you are a believing and praying person, and if you aren't, spend some time reflecting on why you aren't. If you have questions on what it means to be a Christian, and the power we wield with our prayers, leave me a comment, pick up a Bible, follow that spirit of inquiry. If I know about you, I'll pray for you. I pray to hear from you...........

Here We Go Again!

I can't believe I'm doing this...............
But, the time has come for me to give it a try.....I find myself reading other people's blogs every day. (Be careful, it's addictive............) I find myself lamenting that I don't keep in touch with the people I love, every day(the lamenting, not the keeping in touch). I identify with some lovely well-written sentiments about some aspect of life, love and art on other's blogs. I crave the outlet for self-expression. And I am inspired daily by the craft blogs... So if you are wondering whether this blog will be of any interest, I promise nothing, but the chances will be better if we have interests in common. I hope that it is a given that if you are my friend or my family that you will automatically be invested in my rattling on. But if you aren't, I will tell you that I love all things related to the domestic arts, and not surprisingly home-dec and crafts. I am less inclined to be in the kitchen than at the sewing machine, but always intrigued by learning something new, even in the kitchen. My tastes run to the vintage and shabby-chic/cottage-y, even precious and story-book-y.I used to take a lot of pictures, and plan to do more of that again, and I do love to scrapbook, but rarely if ever, get to it these days. But, I realize that I need to be less passive and more intentional about making it happen, and this blog is part of that plan. I am especially looking forward to becoming adept at taking and uploading photos. I see such beauty in the world around me, the people, the landscape, etc. Don't you? (invisible-to-me reader, you know who you are, even though I don't.) I see something, and it rivets my attention, and I wish I had a kindred spirit right there to share it with. You know what I mean, the friend with whom, you can simply nudge and point and not even say a word, and even in the most subtle vignette, your friend can share that warm little thrill, with nary a word spoken, and in that quiet little moment, something beautiful seen or heard deepens the bond and the understanding between two people. So then, what if the shared experience is "virtual"? In the case of my friends and family, I have no doubt that a blog can serve to enrich our relationships, since it will be a vast improvement over my poor correspondence habits. As for strangers (or perhaps I should call you friends-I-haven't-met-yet), I hope to touch your hearts in the way that my favorite bloggers have touched mine.Come back soonish, as I will be working on photos, and continuing to develop my blogging expertise and sensibilities, always with an eye for the lovely things in my world that might interest you too.