I Resolve

...To seek truth, wisdom and beauty...

"Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;

you teach me wisdom in the inmost place." NIV Psalm 51:6

"Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." NIV John 8:32

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair, and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." NIV 1 Peter 3:3, 4

"My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. Then you will understand what is right and just and fair -- every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." NIV Proverbs 2:1-10

....To love...

"Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." NIV Matthew 22:37-40

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." NIV 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

...To pray...

"...if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." NIV 2 Chronicles 7:14

...To serve...

"...But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." NIV Joshua 24:15b

...To rejoice...

"Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." NIV 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Random Thoughts

Let's see....how many different things do I have swirling around in my brain as I try to drain every precious moment out of my Saturday?
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I have started doing the laundry.......which is enough to keep me busy all the day long, especially if I can get everyone in the house to strip his bed and bring me the bedding. And then there's the added work if I can get them to rake the carpet of dirty clothes off their floors. It'll make for interesting mornings next week if they don't have their favorite clothes clean to wear to school. Still waiting for that connection to sink in..............
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This morning I scrubbed surfaces in the kitchen with bleach and detergent. Great feeling of accomplishment. In theory, I do this every Saturday morn. In theory. Got the floor mopped too. Haven't yet cleaned out the fridge. Got to, though. Will be doing my grocery shopping tomorrow afternoon. I'm getting back to using this book: Saving Dinner by Leanne Ely. I used her menus and recipes last week, and what a relief to know each day coming home that I know what to make, and that I have the necessary ingredients.
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We need a cow.







Or even a goat.



With 3 teen-aged boys in the house, we never have enough milk. When I was growing up, we raised a few dairy goats, and had fresh goat's milk for a few months every year. Didn't think I'd like it, but I did. Every spring when the does freshened, it took a few days to get used to the goats' milk, but when they dried up in the fall, it took a week or two to get used to cows' milk again. My brother and I shared the milking, twice a day.
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Evan turned 16 on Monday. He had hockey practice at 5:30 in the morning, and sprained his left ankle badly. Has been on crutches all this week. Happy 16th birthday, Evan. (Evan is the cutie in this pic.)

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I started a new spiritual discipline today. I found a program online called "Prayers for Your Husband" with 31 things to pray about for your husband, one for each day of the month. I am adding this to the reading of 1 chapter of Proverbs daily. There are 31 chapters, if you aren't familiar with it. I never cease to be amazed at the wisdom in those verses. It has also given me great insight into literary references and quaint old idioms. Makes me realize how much "common wisdom" is rooted in the Bible. (Found on a link from 50's Housewife 's blog; I'll try to re-locate it....) ETA I found the link, here.
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Still pondering knitting, crocheting, and stitching projects.
1. Knitting: Jeff could use another pair of socks, or a few, even. For that matter, all the boys have an endless need for good, sturdy, warm socks. As you may recall, I have a pair of Jaywalker socks started and hibernating, pending a solution for not enough yarn. Last Saturday, I alluded to making the pink, ruffly sweater in Vogue Knitting. But I am also trying to knit solely out of my stash, mostly single skeins, bought out of admiration for the color or the feel or the bargain-clearance price. Most are old enough to have been discontinued, so they are destined to be small accessories, or used together in some sort of stripe-y or block-afghan way. I really need to channel some inspiration on this if I ever hope to earn the right to buy new yarn for a project like the sweater in the mag. (And not only that, you should see the new book I just got. I'll save it for another post, but I just drool at the beautiful sweaters that I really must knit.)


2. Crochet: stash-busting principles apply here as well, but additionally, I have way too much cotton for kitchen towels, potholders, etc. I don't love working with it, as cotton doesn't have much elasticity, but it suits for practical items. I like the idea of making items that can be re-used, in favor of buying disposable things. I will soon start making some "facial pads" to use and wash instead of cotton balls for eye-makeup remover and witch hazel. It won't take long to whip up a dozen or so, and also not very interesting. I did see a clever hot pad on Mary Grace McNamara's site "Hooked on Needles", which she in turn got from another blog. It's a good pattern for using little bits of 3 different colors. Need to give that a try. And then there's always a project which I like the idea of , but don't much enjoy doing. I make "plarn" which is plastic yarn, out of those ubiquitous grocery shopping bags, and crochet up re-usable market bags. I kind of like making plarn in the summer when it's hot and a lapful of afghan is too warm. The kids and I work on it together when watching Red Sox games. (Doesn't everybody?) But crocheting it is hard work, and the hands and forearms will only tolerate so much at a stretch.


3. Stitching: No idea, really, where I'll begin. I read Mary Corbet's blog regularly, and I just want to stitch and stitch on something beautiful...but no idea where to begin. I have a kit I bought last year from Alicia Paulson, and still haven't opened. There's no good reason not to work on Christmas ornaments in January, right? After all, unless the good Lord comes again before next December, I expect 2010 will have a Christmas and we at our household will have a tree to decorate. I didn't buy the kit this year (being on a spending Austerity Plan!), but I think if I am successful with the 1st kit, I can buy the pattern and make it with my own materials. I'll be interested to see if she does another kit next fall.

What projects are you getting started on?

Call to Prayer & Action

I have been watching in horror, as no doubt you have too, as news reports of death and devastation come to us from Haiti. The lack of emergency response infrastructure in that country will prolong and magnify the suffering. There are still people alive but trapped under collapsed buildings. There are survivors whose bodies are mangled, but no medical care is available. The dead are everywhere with no services available to cremate or inter them. No food, no water, no shelter, no sanitation, no medicines. 5% of the population has HIV/AIDS and the lowest doctor:population in the world. (2 doctors/100K). Bad information circulating. Rumors, lies. Coastal people are flocking inland for fear of an ensuing tsunami.
Humanitarian agencies are in full swing. Lives will be saved, and suffering will be abated, but imagine the fear and desperation in the meantime. Lives will be lost needlessly if those trapped cannot be freed. The sick, the elderly will fall prey to hunger, dehydration, exposure to the elements. It breaks my heart and overwhelms my mind to consider it all.
I have 2 thoughts on all of this: 1) God is bigger than any disaster wrought on this earth. He can and will work all things for good. There is and will be suffering in all of this. But this is a time when we can and will band together to bear Haiti's burdens. I know that Christians are sending up prayers of intercession to God, even as I type. Christians and non-Christians alike will give generously of their resources, time, talents and money, to provide aid and comfort in this time of need in Haiti. I even dare hope that Haiti's capacity to deal with catastrophe will be fortified and improved as a result of the attention brought to this destitute part of the world.
2) See the scripture tag on the right sidebar - this is a scripture I have come to again and again in the last several months. I have alluded to having had a tough year in 2009. I won't go into detail, but one of the most difficult things I have faced is the death of my father, a huge and powerful figure in my life. And that was only part of my "annis horribilis" (to quote QEII). One of the positive outcomes is that I have had so many loving and compassionate people rally around me and my family, who have helped in so many ways. I often reflect on how Christians are exhorted to "bear one another's burdens". This year, I have experienced that in a very real and meaningful way. I have also been given the opportunity to put that command into action. It is one of the most powerful human interactions I have ever experienced. To come alongside someone in their time of need, or to have someone offer you comfort when you are suffering is something beyond words for me. So deeply touching. Tomorrow, maybe I will find the quote from Gandhi how losing yourself in service to others is how you find yourself. A beautiful thought.
Please consider what you may have to offer. Time. Talents. Money. The Red Cross allows you to designate donations for Haiti. Doctors Without Borders (Medecins Sans Frontieres, or MSF) has a presence there, and Stephanie, the Yarn Harlot urges and tracks donations from her following of knitters. Click on that link for her eloquent post.

Advent

Today is the first Sunday in Advent. The season of Advent precedes Christmas, and in the church it is the beginning of the calendar year. It is a time to prepare one's heart for the coming of the Messiah. John the Baptist foretold his coming, urging repentance and baptism by water.

The modern church celebrates 4 Sundays in Advent, the 4 weeks before Christmas. Each Sunday focuses on a theme: Hope, Peace, Love, and Joy

Today's theme is Hope.

In early European customs, the winter solstice season was marked by bringing in evergreens and lighting candles, symbolizing the continuing existence of life in the evergreens despite the bleak and cold landscapes, and light in the darkness.

Later, the Roman Catholic church began to use the custom of evergreen wreaths and candles to teach the Advent story. Very clever, really.

Now, we see all kinds of Advent countdown items, usually used to help children survive the interminable countdown to Christmas. A lot of times the focus is on gifts, toys, and candies. As much as I understand the draw, I sometimes feel that the secular world is stealing from the tradition of religion. The irony is that the Advent wreath is an example of the religious world stealing from the secular!

Here's a candelabra image I found incorporating the nativity imagery.

No sweets, toys, or Santa Claus here.

So, where have I been?

I'm going to get back in the blogging saddle. I won't go into detail, but my life took on challenging proportions and I had nothing left for blogging. I didn't follow anyone else's blog either. Well, that's not entirely true. There are 2 blogs that I check for posts pretty much daily. They both represent an escape from my day-to-day cares: Dress a Day and Posie Gets Cozy.
But now I'm coming back, although the things on my mind are less in the domestic arts arena and more along the lines of spiritual considerations.
So, if you're here to read about knitting or embroidery, I'll probably get to something like that in future posts, but today I am going to touch on a more personal topic.
My church belongs to the ELCA, which stands for the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. It is a denomination which departed from the traditional midwestern Lutheran Church a few decades ago. Gradually, the ELCA has been studying various social issues and drafting statements defining the Church's position. Past statements have addressed capital punishment and abortion among other contemporary social considerations. Recently, the ELCA held a Church-Wide-Assembly, gathering delegates from the various synods, taking a vote and adopting a set of resolutions encouraging member churches to: 1) ordain practicing homosexuals into leadership positions; and 2)bless same-sex unions. This has stirred up a great deal of controversy and high emotion. Open discussion has, at times, resulted in hurt feelings. There have been some people who have left our church, because of the conviction that the ELCA has taken a large step down the wrong path.
I too, may leave my church. I'm not sure what to do. I believe the ELCA has taken a very wrong turn. I believe that the Bible is very clear that homosexual activity is a sin. I think that to be a Christian is to take the Bible seriously. I have not yet heard an argument that addresses the truth as it is written in the Bible. Unless you count the woman who said to me: "Yes, that's what it says, but how do you know that is what it means?" (Shades of the Clinton-esque: "That depends on what your definition of "is"is.") Should I have perpetuated the irony by answering: "Because that is what it says."?
I should also add that I do not believe that people are born homosexual, but that they have experiences that encourage their sexual development in that direction.
Further, I believe that the church has a role in speaking the truth in love, and calling the sin what it is. Primarily, however, the church's role is to be loving and accepting of people no matter what their sin is. All people are sinners and as Christians we are works-in-progress. I think it would be unbiblical, un-Christ-like to make homosexuals to feel ashamed or unwelcome. But I also think that the Bible tells us that our church leaders should be virtuous and upright in their behaviors. This presumes that they be people who have studied God's Word and examined their lives to overcome sin in its myriad forms. People living homosexual lifestyles and seeking leadership positions either have not read the Bible or don't think its teachings are relevant. How can they be qualified to lead the rest of us?
So, given these convictions, do I stay with the ELCA? My church seems to be accepting the resolutions. I would be more comfortable if there were at least some discussion of our options in response to the resolutions. But, instead, I feel that we have told by our pastor not to discuss it, for fear of causing hurt feelings. And, then to add to my confusion, last week's sermon was based on the Scripture reading from the 2nd chapter of Genesis, about the creation of woman as a companion to man, presumably the Biblical model for marriage. And yet the focus was on divorce, stating that it was God's plan for marriage to be a life-long union. Pastor fell short of adding the phrase: "between one man and one woman". At the time, the omission didn't bother me too much, although I noticed it. I assumed that he was avoiding adopting a position that might seem too strident on a sensitive subject. But in retrospect, I think by not being clear about his position, he has been exactly that, unclear. I can easily imagine someone thinking that by emphasizing "life-long union" repeatedly, that he was actually endorsing homosexual partnerships as long as they had a "life-long union" clause in their commitment to one another. You know how it is when you hear what you want to hear. It is this kind of fence-sitting that is aggravating people. I have taken a measured approach, thinking that I didn't want to make a quick decision, nor did I want to give too much credence to the initial reactions of others, but now as time goes on and I see that open discussion is not being encouraged, and the official position is one of denial, I am feeling more and more alienated.
I want to belong to a church which believes in and teaches the Bible. Yes, I believe we should love one another, but I don't think it is loving to encourage sin. You see, that is the crux of the matter for me. If the resolutions had enocuraged congregations to be inclusive and loving, I would have agreed whole-heartedly, but elevating to leadership? blessing a sinful union? All s that we can say that we have done what is politically correct? (Was Christ loving when he over-turned the tables of the money-changers? I say YES, because it is loving to shine a light on sin, and call it what it is. What opportunity for repentance is there if we don't define sin where we see it?
I don't expect a whole lot of response to this post - after all who reads my blog anyway, especially when I haven't posted in almost 4 months. But whether you agree or disagree, I hope you'll feel free to leave a comment. If it's impolite, I'll remove it, but I promise that if it's courteous and respectful, I'll leave it.

He is risen indeed!

Oh, welcome and happy day! At the break of dawn, I was up with poster board, poster paint and the lousiest paintbrush making the poster for the door. And taking the black drape off of the cross and adding the white lilies, garlanding the grapevine with yellow gingham ribbon. What a celebration I had all by myself in the quiet of the morning!

And the whole time humming to myself, (but hearing choirs of angels singing in triumph), "Jesus Christ is ris'n today, a-a-a-a-a-lle-e lu-u-ia!" Humming because I didn't know the rest of the words. But I got to sing all the words today at the top of my lungs. My voice was cracking because I'd get teared up. But it didn't matter, there were so many other voices joining and covering my own. And the majestic organ ringing out from the choir loft. Soooooo uplifting..i wish you coulda been there. But if you weren't, I hope you were rattling the rafters in your own house of worship.

And feasting and celebrating with your loved ones this afternoon.

Were you there when they crucified my Lord?

This is how my front door looks today.....I wish I had a crown of thorns to attach at the top of the cross, but in the absence of that, the grapevine wreath left bare, reminds me of one.

When I first hung this, this morning, I couldn't set up the camera and take a picture... I was too overcome. Good Friday affects me this way. Tonight at our tenebrae service, we'll hear the soulful spiritual: Were you there when they crucified my Lord?, sung a capella from the choir loft over the congregation, sitting in utter and desparate darkness. I can hardly type for tears....
And I'll be thinking ...."they crucified my Lord? they nailed him to the tree? they? WE crucified him, .....no, I crucified him, I denied him, I nailed him to the tree....." and when I don't think I can take it anymore, Pastor Horner, will bring the Paschal candle back to the sachistry, and one single tiny flame will cast its light upon us all, flinging its illumination to the far corners, glistening off teary cheeks, reminding us of the Hope that remained, then, and the Hope that remains now...........

Oh, if you have Good Friday thoughts, traditions, prayer requests to share, please leave a comment.

Praying for Jonah

I was reading Rhoda's blog for decorating tips yesterday, and followed a link to the blog of one of her commenters and I became curious about a badge I saw in her sidebar.....it said "Praying for Jonah". (See sidebar to the right) Funny how a little click can open up a whole new world unfolding nearby or far away of which you are completely unaware. I spent the next few hours reading the "Williams Family Blog", and weeping, and praying.
I'll summarize: Patrice and Matt are young twenty-somethings in NC, probably married a couple of years. Patrice started the blog (about a year ago) about a month before their first baby, a boy named Gabe, was due. And then almost immediately after the blog begins, Gabe died in utero, and had to be delivered stillborn. The doctors were unable to determine any specific cause of death. Patrice faithfully records her and Matt's grief, with pure and honest references to their faith. She shares their sorrow and their joy, and chronicles time with their families, including the handfuls of toddling nieces and nephews they enjoy at every event. In no time, (for the reader anyway), Patrice discovers she is again pregnant, and the long months of anxious waiting begin. All check-ups are reassuring of the new baby's health, but naturally Patrice experiences a great deal of anxiety - like any new mother, but amplified by the raw emotion of Gabe's all-too-recent demise. Finally, the waiting is over, and the doctors induce Patrice's labor at 37 weeks . All goes as planned, and Jonah finally makes his triumphant entrance into the world.....and into the lives of countless hundreds, even thousands in the blog world. Patrice and Matt are immediately faced with the nightmare of health problems for their little one, as it is obvious that Jonah has a serious skin condition, he has blisters, and in some areas, his skin has sloughed off. He was only just born this 2/27/09, and spent the first 5 weeks in NICU at a children's hospital. His diagnosis is EB (Epidermolysis Bullosa), which is a connective tissue disorder which causes the skin layers to be inadequately adhered to one another, rendering the skin impossibly delicate. It also affects the GI tract, creating blisters in the mouth and throat just by the normal sucking forces of natural breast or bottle feeding. The fragility of the skin and oral mucosa represents a breach in the body's natural barrier against infection, these babies are constantly at risk.....I'm not sure what Jonah's prognosis is, but it's clear that the degree of severity in these cases varies widely, and apparently Jonah's case is on the more severe end of the spectrum. Jonah has rallied like a champ, and Patrice and Matt have their hands full, learning how to bathe, feed, and handle him. He truly requires "kid" gloves, and cannot be firmly snuggled, swaddled, or even conventionally diapered.
Reading about their battle is wrenching and exhausting, but compelling. There are people all over the world on their knees, praying for this little guy and their young parents. How can I help it, I am now one of them.....but I am so aware of my own limitations, even as I pray for Jonah, I am aware of how much more motivated I am because of the blog, with pictures and detailed descriptions. If somebody had said to me, "Oh, by the way, pray for a baby with a serious disease", I would likely pray once and barely remember it the next day. But to have become invested emotionally in the life of a stranger, I have required Patrice's skillful blogging, plenty of baby pics, and the eloquent blog posts of others, and the community feeling of a "movement". In the back of my mind, I know there are thousands of babies in children's hospitals, NICUs, and even at home, facing similar challenges, some harder, some easier, all of whom merit our love and prayer...it makes me glad there is a God, because he does keep track of them all, cares about all of them, and is not limited by our human worries, fatigue, lack of imagination, selfishness. Which brings me to why I'm writing. Jonah may be just one baby in thousands who need our prayers, but he's the one I "know". I think it is good for me to weep and pray and wait. Isn't that what Jesus asked the disciples to do in the garden of Gethsemane? And aren't I just like any one of them, sleeping on the job? And aren't I like Peter, denying him three times, before the cock crew?
You see, I started this blog timidly, keeping it light and superficial....yes, domestic cares and considerations are important to me, but I have not share the reason why---I have kept my proverbial light under a proverbial bushel! I am a Christian, a child of the one true and living God, and my very existence should proclaim his Sovereignty, over my life, my family, my household, and that includes what I post in my blog. I belong to the ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church of America), specifically Holy Cross Lutheran Church in Kennebunk, Maine. I intend to blog more about that in the future, and include more topics on service projects within the church. In the meantime, give up some knee-time for Patrice and Matt and Jonah, if you are a believing and praying person, and if you aren't, spend some time reflecting on why you aren't. If you have questions on what it means to be a Christian, and the power we wield with our prayers, leave me a comment, pick up a Bible, follow that spirit of inquiry. If I know about you, I'll pray for you. I pray to hear from you...........