A Little Update

Some of my blue transferware

• I haven't been posting, just lurking a lot.  I regularly read the new posts on my blog roll (see on left), but haven't been leaving too many comments.  I like to comment, as an encouragement to the blogger.  It's like I've been pseudo-hibernating.  Sitting at a party, watching quietly, alone in a corner.  Not lonely, just content to be a spectator for a while.

I've been thinking a lot about knitting (and doing just a little), and thinking a little about crochet (and not doing any).  I want to knit cardigans, socks and a beret or two.  I want to crochet a granny square blanket.  More on this another time.

I'm obsessed with fashion.  I'm not a fashionista.  I pay little attention to the latest hot trend.  I love classics and vintage styles.  I like looking at fabrics and sewing patterns and designing a seasonal wardrobe with a "collection" look to it.  These wishful dreams bear little resemblance to what is in my drawers and closet.  And I haven't been sewing, but I want to be.  My sewing room isn't up to it.

Which brings me to my current season:  I am very gradually de-cluttering.  And organizing.  And getting into better routines (a la Flylady).

• I am job-seeking.  Which differs from my "career" building.  I have ambitious long-term career plans, but I need to be making a living in the meantime.  So, among other efforts, I'll be adding some listings to my etsy shop, sort of a combined de-cluttering/income-making activity.
• I have started Weight Watchers. I feel hopeful that I will do better with this than I have in the past.  It doesn't feel so hard this time, and I am seeing some results.  I am significantly overweight with creeping cardiac risk factors.  But my real motivation is vanity and my obsession with clothes. Being overweight makes dressing well a real challenge, not to mention being comfortable in one's clothing.  I am working on being able to blog about this, i.e. with photos of myself, but I am a bit shy about photos of myself, and a lot embarassed about being sooooo biiiiig.  I am working on this though, and this little self-confession is a start.  It occurs to me that I have such a small readership that it doesn't much matter what (or if) I post!  And anyone who knows me knows how fat I am.  It is only I who is shocked by pictures of me. (!)

 

• The pictures have nothing whatsoever to do with the content.  Just here to give you something pretty to look at.
• That is what is up with me.  So now I've greased some rusty gears, and laid the groundwork for some future follow-up topics.

Pride in Heritage, Or Personal Responsibility, Or Something.....

I've often thought about the impact of one's heritage on one's present and future.  Most of us recognize the value of family stories in shaping what we value and what we become.  Social workers recommend that children who are fostered and/or adopted have some sort of album chronicling their lives to take with them and reflect upon to help them feel grounded.  I remember hearing a well-spoken sociologist describe the appeal that belonging to gangs has to disadvantaged youth in inner cities.  It seems there is a deep need within each of us to belong to a community of some sort - a deep need for belonging.  So, it shouldn't surprise us that so many people seek self-worth in their ancestry, or their contemporary affiliations.  I have been re-visiting these concepts recently for 2 reasons:  1)  I have been visiting blogs whose main focus is on "preppy" lifestyle (which shouldn't surprise you too much when you consider my current temp work); and 2) I have been watching and re-watching anything and everything PBS offers about Downton Abbey, which so aptly (and charmingly) explores social classes, ethics of heirarchy, etc.

In my last post, I mentioned that I had taken seasonal work in retail.  Chances are, you have heard of the company.  I have been taking phone orders for L.L.Bean, a company that was founded here in Maine 100 years ago.  I can't help it -- even though I can take no personal responsibility for the aesthetic and success of the company, somehow I feel proud of the company, its history and its products.  What's that all about?  I admit that I feel pride in being a "Yankee", but I'm also aware that in the big scheme of things, it just doesn't matter!  In God's eyes, we are all, each one of us, equally beloved.  He has numbered each hair on our heads, and His love for us exceeds the human heart's ability to fathom it.  And so, to me, in my calmer moments, it seems folly to pay too much heed to one's own heritage.  After all, just as we do not wish to suffer judgment, or worse yet punishment for our ancestor's trespasses, why should we hope to garner accolades for their attributes?  It seems to me that what matters is now, the present, and how we go forward from here. 
The Brits, have a saying, I think, something like:  "End how you mean to go on."  I mis-paraphrased it the other day, something like:  "Start how you mean to finish"; and while I think that thought has merit, it misses the meaning of "End how you mean to go on."  EHYMTGO implies that right at this moment you are at an important decision point.  You are involved in something which needs concluding, and should not be abandoned.  It almost seems that it warns against turning away and ignoring something you have botched.  I can't think how many times I have wanted a fresh start (daily), and how many times I have rued my actions or inactions (nightly).  But if I judge myself too harshly, I risk being paralyzed with shame, self-loathing.  In order to escape such punishment, I might minimize the impact of my own unwise decisions or actions.  Far better to acknowledge the error of my ways, and learn to make wiser decisions in future.  As Oprah says:  "When you know better, you can do better."(And in most cases, not only can you do better, but you have an obligation to yourself and others to do better.)  One of the most effective rebukes is: "Tut, tut! You know better than that!".  Another wise person (anyone know?) said something like:  "Those who ignore history are destined to repeat it."  What a gift it is to realize that we can learn from the mistakes of others!  I suppose that is another reason to be realistic about one's ancestry, and careful not to glamorize their achievements.  Surely there are lessons to be learned.
EHYMTGO insists that you learn from the past and tie up the loose ends and resolve to do better going forward.  I suppose this is important to me now also because we are in the New Year, and I am again plagued by the question of resolutions.  I think they are a good thing, in general, reserving a time on the calendar for reflection and EHYMTGO-ing.  And yet I rarely make any (beyond my usual triad:  Lose weight, eat more nutritiously, and get more exercise), and it seems these I never fully keep, so what's the point?  But I'm going to continue mulling this over, and maybe post again....

These are a few….

I have started a seasonal job.  I don’t know how long it will last, exactly.  The company is in retail, and so is consumer-driven.  I really like the work, the people and the superior ethics of the company.  I’ve worked exactly 9 days so far, and the first 5 was training.  I’m not kidding when I say it has been FUN!
Yesterday, when I got ready for work, I was listening to Maine Public Radio (<<<lUv>>>).  The classical music program was beginning and the first piece was a beautiful  arrangement of one of My Favorite Things – yes, the song from The Sound of Music.  I felt so blessed.  (Don’t tell my dogs, y’know, about the kitten thing.)
What are a few of your favorite things this Advent Season?

What’s new? What’s news?

This newspaper business was housed in a small building that looked like it may have been residential at one time…
Well, here’s what’s new with me.
The company I worked for continues to struggle in this economy, as well as the general growing pains that plague any new company in the first years.  In order to survive they have actually had to trim personnel.  And one of the trims was me.  Sigh….
Since then, we have had Hurricane Sandy, who helped us cull the weaker roof  shingles from the herd we keep on top of our house.  And brought down 3 or 4 trees and several branches.  So, not too much damage.  And the tree segments will be cut up for firewood, and all the stray branches broken up to be used for kindling.   One of the trees that came down was one my DH had been eyeing a couple of weekends ago when we did a big push fall clean-up in our yard.  So, I guess Sandy was a help to us, and not just a hindrance.  We lost power for 30 hours, but it was warm outside and we didn’t need heat anyway.  So we used candlelight and flashlights, and cooked things that were in the freezer on our propane grill outside.  I had had the boys bring it up on the screen porch before the storm, amid their protests that it could stay right where it was.  They complied when I asked which one of them was willing to stand at the grill in the rain when there was cooking to be done.  (I mention my small inconveniences very carefully.  I am hoping not to sound complaining when we got off so lightly compared to the damage and loss Sandy wrought on so many in NY and NJ and thereabouts.  As I’m sure you are, I am keeping them in my prayers,
And, of course, like everyone, we have had the excitement of a contentious presidential election.  I don’t know how much of our Senatorial election has made news in your area.  But one of our beloved Senators who has been in Washington for years (Olympia Snowe – I even love her name—suggests a wise guru on a mountaintop) had decided not to run for re-election, specifically citing the frustration of grid-lock and divisiveness in the Senate.  We, as a state have replaced her with our former governor, Angus King (another interesting name –  I heard a comic make reference to a Burger King menu item!), who is an Independent.  I was hoping that the election would clear the air of the negativity, and bring a new resolve to get along and get some work done.  I think that has happened to some degree,  but in my world, there are some who are not ready to let go of what for them was a crusade of sorts.  Now, in defeat, there is a funereal air pervading each day.  Please don’t make any assumptions about my political persuasions.  I of course had a preferred Presidential candidate, but I could be content with either outcome, because I know that God is in control, and not constrained by who is in the U.S. White House.
I’m sorry of the lack of recent posts.  I have so much I want to post about, and I will do so as often as I can.  It will be difficult as I am in an all-out job search in a lousy job market.
So, what’s new with you?

Earth-Shattering News

Sometimes I feel like everything is just too much.  Just.  Too.  Much.
In the last 24 hours, some people I love dearly are facing a terribly difficult situation, and I find myself having been in nearly constant prayer for them.  And the situation has continued to evolve....
On the way home today, 3 different police vehicles sped by us on the turnpike on their way to?...Later as we neared home, a state trooper and another unmarked car sped by going in the opposite direction.  When we got home, and turned on the news, we learned that a man in a nearby town was in his burning home and shooting at police and firefighters who were trying to rescue him and put out the fire.  They were able to get his wife to safety, but further details are not yet available.
I started making supper, but felt this inexplicable tension (still do) and told myself that I am overtired (I already had my nightgown on), and therefore all the bad things had taken on too great a magnitude. 
As I overseasoned the ground beef for tacos, and forgot to start the rice I put in the microwave, I called my dear husband to come to the kitchen as I knew I needed a hug (good for what ails you!).  He sweetly complied and listened to me say that I just felt so burdened by the events of the last 24 hours, and besides which, I felt I should watch the debates tonight, even though I don't much want to.
We were hashing it all over, when suddenly we felt a jolt, like when one of our hulking adolescent-types throws himself around upstairs.  (I have no idea what they really do that shakes the house so.)  But this time was worse than "the usual" shennanigans -- were they body-slamming each other up there?
But the jolt had progressed to an audible and palpable rumble, like when huge construction heavy machinery is being used very nearby.
We looked at each other quizzically, and then heard the rattling and clinking of all the dishes in the cabinets, and indeed the cabinets suspended from the ceiling were jumping and vibrating!  It kept going, probably 10 seconds at the most, only this time it took about 10 minutes for all 10 of the seconds to click by.  We went to look out on the front lawn, only to discover that a space ship hadn't landed there.   Both boys emerged from their rooms to find out what the heck?.....  They each report that upstairs they could really feel the house moving.
We had had an earthquake!  4.6 magnitude. Not terribly common in Maine.  We are 23 miles from the epicenter, and ironically only a few miles from where the police are dealing with a burning house and a standoff with an occupant.
I ask you, do earthquakes mess with a person's sense of well-being?  It sure seems like it from where I sit.
I sure hope all is stable where you are.  I'm going to kill yet another stink-bug who is mistaken that my wall is a safe haven from the oncoming winter.  I probably shouldn't have painted them green.
And then I'll need to decide if I can stand to watch the debate.......